No More Binki

So last week I decided it was time fore the binki to go. My original thought was I would cut a slit in it but of coarse Hallie is to smart for that and just wanted one that wasn't broken. When she went down for her nap was the first time she found it she came up to tell me that it was making a funny noise. And needless to say there were a lot of tears and no nap. That night we went through about 1 hr 40 min of crying before she gave up and slept the rest of the night. The couple of days continued with no naps with diminishing crying at night. Sunday we decided to tackle the nap thing. We decided to call it "rest time" where she didn't have to sleep but needed to lay down and either read or sleep. Within 15 min she was asleep. I wish I could say rest time has continued to be that easy. She has had a nap only 1 other time the other days she quietly reads or plays in her room for at leas an hour and it has allowed us to move up her bed time. There is usually a few minutes of not wanting to go to bed but once she settles in she sleeps all night...which I am very grateful for. She is getting much better and doesn't even ask about her binki. She decided she wanted to throw her binki in the river so away it floated...pretty undramatic. I thought it would be cooler to tie it to some balloons and watch it float away but we let Hallie decide and water was the choice. Although getting rid of the binki seems to have gone pretty smoothly she has started to pee her pants when I ask her why she says because she wants too. I can't help but think she is either rebelling since we took her binki or crying out for attention but it is extremely frustrating. I for the 1st time in becoming a mom feel unkind feelings toward my child...sure I have had moments of this over the last couple of years but they are usually a fleeting thought and I feel so guilty for having these feelings its pretty overwhelming to me. But Im trying to address all the possible issues and are spending more one on one time with Hallie doing various fun things(baking, crafts, reading, riding bikes, ect) and we went and got a few rewards for when she stays dry for 1-2 days(new princess panties and a princess dinner plate) we will see how it works. If there is one thing I am definitely learning patience a little at a time but I am truly blessed to have my 2 little sweet girls as we learn to navigate the road of life together.