Jan Jazz Games

 Liam's first game! We weren't sure until right before Matt walked out the door if he'd actually go but he did and loved it. 

January Random

 So far this year we have gotten a lot of snow...like we are now to the point that we can't push the snow with the 4-wheeler and can only use the snowblower to get it off the road and driveway. It's hard to complain when we have been desperate for moisture and it really is so beautiful.

For the 5th grade project they do a wax museum every year. It was Gracie's turn this year. She did a great job and Liam and I enjoyed going to watch her.

With a new year it was time to redo the theme for nursery. We did a similar layout with the new theme. Nursery has become lonely so far this year. We should have 4 kids but only one come regularly and sometimes no one comes so Im not sure how that's going to work moving forward

Hallie wasn't feeling good one night and for some reason I felt like we should test her for Covid. It came back positive before we could even set a timer so we thought it might be a false positive so we ran another test and got the same result just as quickly. Luckily for the rest of us no one else got sick. Covid is so wierd.

Liam has started doing and building things and then asking me to take picture. Here are a few examples. He was so happy with his "bed" to lay near the fire and watch the heart lights. 

I love Liam being my buddy. I went to meet with Hilary, Bree, and Amy to plan our summer camping trip at a local restaurant and he is always the only kids as all their kids are in school full time. They are always so great to let him tag along and include him. After he ate his lunch the waitress brought him a fun surprise.

Oh the weather has been so wet and snowy we have on multiple occasions had to clear ice dams and cleaning up water inside the house. It got old real fast but we have a long way to go til the snow melts.

The kids are loving one of the side effects of all the weather. They have been eating them and as you can see enjoying it

The kids climbing on top of the garden boxes while playing in the snow

The girls have loved games for quite a while but now that Liam is old enough to play he has started instigating playing games. I'm always so amazed how quickly he picks up on things and makes them his own.

Rad Dad Lunch

 They started a cool new thing at the school where they invite the dads to come to the school once a month and have lunch with the kids and play at recess. The girls have been so excited to have Matt come and be part of this with them. I hope they continue to do fun programs like this and get the community more involved with the school

Liam's Fight with Cancer-3 Years Remission

 Oh how I dread these scans. PTSD is a funny thing. Since the beginning of this entire cancer journey we have received nothing but good new. No metastasis, blessings and prayers told and felt that Liam would live a long and full life, tumor responded amazing to treatment, great survivor rates, directed to great doctors, and Liam was unphased by chemo. But despite that the anxiety and worry remains. The small percentage of what ifs seem to be louder as scans get closer. Matt and I have both felt like we need to talk to Liam about scans so he'll know what to expect so about a week before I mentioned then to Liam and as the week progressed he asked questions and picked his prize. I did my best not to cringle every time he asked about scans because this isn't about me but it was hard. Liam continued to seem unphased and would say he was excited for scans and the prize he picked. I have felt forever that scan results would be and Liam would do great but I had no idea how great until the day of. He asked if I'd wake him up in time to get ready since I usually just take him in his pjs and change him once we get there. He actually woke himself up just in time to get ready and after getting Hallie to the bus we headed to Primary Children's. The roads and weather were terrible but we took our time and were safe but ended up being a few minutes late. Our check in was quick since they now have you do most of it online before hand. We only waited about 5 minutes before they called us back.  The ultrasound tech asked Liam to climb up and he jumped right up on the table and lifted his shirt so she could tuck the towels in. He started explaining to the tech that he knew all the things she was going to do with her "magic wand" looking in his belly to make sure he was healthy. I was so proud of him. At one point I tried to talk to him and he told me to stop because he was focusing on being still. As she continued the ultrasound all I could hear was the continual click click to capture images. In an attempt to calm my anxiety I asked how many pictures they usually capture and she said about 60...which made me feel better. Meanwhile Liam talked her ear off about the prize he was getting for being so brave and strong for his scans. Within 10 minutes she was done. Usually it take 20-30 but that's with him not holding still and cooperating. The sweet tech was listening to him as he talked to her because she brought him some Marshall Paw Patrol stickers for being so good. Then she checked with xray and we walked right over. Liam asked the xray tech if I could be with him and she said if I wore lead that I could stand by him so you better believe I did just that. He stood there and followed all of her directions and then we were done in record time. 

As we walked out of the CPC(children's procedural center). Liam said mom lets ride the elevator and go to clinic now and we did just that. They got us back and in a room quickly. Liam again was so good to get weighed he's 41lbs and 5oz(up from 36lbs 3 oz in July)and is now 43 inches tall(2 inches taller than when we went in July). As we sat waiting for the Dr I couldn't help but feel grateful for how well the day had gone. This was going to be our first meeting with Dr Dietz since our last visit his wife had her baby unexpectedly the day before. While we waited I kept checking my health for the results from his US and Xray. Before they were up the Dr came in to introduce himself and assess Liam. As we visited he asked if I was in the medical profession because of the questions I was asking. I told him yes and that I was a NICU nurse. Then the results came thru. All the scans looked great! Our little buddy was 3 years CANCER FREE! He went thru and explained the entire report because he said he knew I'd read it even if he told me everything looked fine. Liam had a cold previous to scans and had some gunk in his lungs still and the picture was taken not at peak point but all the results were good. Then came the real shocker he said at this point we wouldn't need to do follow up anymore! I was a little caught off guard but had been praying that I would know what was best. He explained that neuroblastoma often returns in the first 2 years if it's going to and that at some point the scans are more of a risk than the cancer coming back. He said because this was the first time meeting with him that we could do some follow up in 6 months and then be done from there. He also mentioned wanting to be conscious of the trauma to the kids in doing the scans so we decided on doing a urine VMA/HVA and an assessment 6 months from now. This is the what a very happy healthy not so little boy looks like.

As we left the hospital that day I couldn't help but cry all happy tears. I can't imagine our lives without this little guy and all the light and happiness he brings to all he comes into contact with. Now home to build toy he picked out as a prize.

He recently has started loving to climb the rock wall and play in the foam pit. It's so fun to watch him find something he loves and try it out.

Hallie's How to Get into College Play

 Hallie really enjoyed being in the play last year and couldn't wait for the play to come around this year. They did it a little different this year and did the majority of the practices during advisory and only a few after school which made it nice for scheduling and driving. I wasn't sure what to expect since it didn't seem like as much time had been put into them but it was really great. All of the kids did a great job and seemed to enjoy doing it. We all went Thursday night along with Joy and then Friday night Matt took Gracie and went while I stayed home with the rest of the kids.

Its fun as the kids continue to get older to see what interests they have and want to try. Hallie did a great job and it will be interesting to see if she wants to stick with it.

Bingo Night

 The night before Bingo night Gracie came to tell me she was getting anxious about going and the possibility of winning. We both just laughed and then she went back to bed but really the kids love Bingo night. In all of the years we have gone Hallie always has won something so the other kids were hoping that it would be their year. Unfortunately we didn't win anything but they had a great time.

There were a few points when the kids were standing....they have you stand once you are one number away. I think it's even more disappointing when this happens and you still don't win.

Liam was the closest and actually won but another little boy had gotten it before and they hadn't heard before they called the next number. I think the girls were more bummed than he was. He was just enjoying running around the gym and every time he would come around he would ask if he had any of the numbers they were reading. Matt was out of town on a business trip but hopefully he'll be able to join us next time.

Happy 39 to Me

 I always want my birthday to feel like a big deal and for people to remember but as an adult sometimes birthdays are weird and hard to make what you want. I have been feeling burn out and overwhelmed lately. I'm sure the weather doesn't help but I told Matt for my birthday I wanted to hear from all the people I love and to not be needed for just the day. I thought it seemed like a far fetched thought but it ended up being pretty great. I heard from Grandma Harris that I can't remember when the last time was I had her call on  my birthday. I also heard from all of my parents and siblings as well as a handful of close friends. Matt handled most of the day to day and I spent most of the day blogging. I was so far behind but one of my goals this year is to stay caught up because its hard when I get behind but having the memories written down and printed so we can read and reread our memories is the best. It's funny how as time passes the details are forgotten or changed. I had a work training that I went to for most of the morning and got home shortly after lunch to find Liam and Matt had wrapped me up a gift. I wondered what it could be because I told him I wanted to do family pictures and get my hair done for my birthday. We had already done pictures and I had an appt scheduled for my hair so I waited until the girls got home to open it of coarse to find out what it could be. But first we decided to go to dinner so neither of us had to cook(although Matt was more than willing to make dinner) or clean up. We ended up going to Longhorn Steakhouse. At the end of the year we cashed in a bunch of Matt's work credit card points and bought gift cards to do things with the kids. In my head I imagined it going smoother and more enjoyable than I did but I quickly realized that although our kids are getting older they are still kids. It was fine but there was the typical bickering, wanting what the other person ordered, and overall just not liking having to sit still for a period of time. The waiter was great and brought multiple cups of ice cream and the kids that ate got to have ice cream. Then we headed home to do presents, cake , and get everyone ready for bed. 

Inside of this heavy box was a piece of paper and some random books from around the house. Matt had ordered me the Food Nanny cookbook set! I was really excited but they were out of stock so they wouldn't be coming for a couple more weeks but I will be looking forward to when they do come so I can try a bunch of new stuff.

After doing gifts we were all tired and still full from dinner so we didn't do cake until the next day. I made strawberry shortcake with vanilla cupcakes and strawberries for topping. It was light and yummy. Sorry no pictures. Several people asked me if I could believe it was only a year until I'd be forty. I have thought about that and I don't really care what age I am. I just want to be happy and healthy. I for sure need to work on my mental health more this year.

Gracie's Birthday Out

 Saturday we got up and Gracie was already up and going. She was excited to get going for the day. We got everyone ready to go to lunch. I have been working on braiding more...its not something that comes natural to me for sure. The girls really liked it though so we'll do it more.

We met Gracie's friend in Ogden and picked her up to go to lunch. Gracie wanted to go to Golden Corral. It's actually really nice because the kids can get what they want and are now pretty much to the age they can just get it. Matt and I helped Liam and the girls just did their thing.

After lunch Matt took Liam home and I took all the girls to Color Me Mine to paint pottery. 

They each chose a project and I even chose one this time. Usually Im helping the kids paint but they are to the point now they didn't need me to be hovering so I chose something to do. Stuff like this isn't my strong suit as I like to go off of a design other give you and not have to make the decisions myself. But all of the projects turned out great and we had a great time. I thought we'd be done in about an hour but in ended up taking us just over 2.

Hallie chose the same project as mine and seems to struggle creativity wise like me but once she got going she did a great job.

Then we walked down to Coldstone ice cream. I think its so cool when you can walk from one destination to the other without a lot of effort. Probably because there haven't been many times or places in my life that I could do that.

That night Gracie opened the rest of her gifts.

Happy birthday to our Gracie.