It's one of the scariest things a parent can ever hear.
"Your child has cancer".
Numb. Disbelief. Pain. Sadness. Anger. Just a few of the emotions we experienced in that moment. Not sure how to respond, we just sat and listened - tried to take it all in, not knowing what the future had in store for us.
So many questions went through our minds. Why Liam? What did we do wrong? What could we have done to prevent this? Should we have caught this sooner? Is he going to be ok? What do we need to do to cure him? How did we get here???
How did we get here?
Day1:
On Friday December 6th, our little Liam was struggling to get comfortable due to pressure in his stomach area. Earlier that morning he started acting like he didn't feel well, and given that Natalie had just been sick with flu-like symptoms, we thought he might just getting what she had. As the day went on, his pain and discomfort gradually worsened. He wasn't eating and wasn't peeing or pooping. Something was wrong. After hours of trying everything we could think of, both Natalie and I decided it was time to go to the ER. After getting admitted around 8pm, they could tell that something was wrong and we weren't just being over reactive parents. The team started doing x-ray's and an ultrasound and it was in the ultrasound that we discovered that his bladder was very full due to something blocking his ability to discharge. To relieve the pressure, they inserted a catheter and after draining 300ml of fluid, he was finally able to relax and fall asleep. So the pain was now gone, but we needed to determine what was causing the blockage. At first glance, we thought it was a solid stool that was causing the blockage. The doctors tried an enema but that didn't seem to effect anything. After some manual inspection that didn't produce any results, the doctor felt it best to run a CT scan to get a better image of what was happening.
This meant placing a bigger IV to allow the contrast dye to enter his blood stream. In what was probably the hardest part for Natalie and I (at the time) to witness was watching them try to get a 22ga needle into his little veins (that were small due to him not eating all day). After several blown veins and what felt like hours of them poking him, they finally got an IV in just enough to get the procedure done.
On Friday December 6th, our little Liam was struggling to get comfortable due to pressure in his stomach area. Earlier that morning he started acting like he didn't feel well, and given that Natalie had just been sick with flu-like symptoms, we thought he might just getting what she had. As the day went on, his pain and discomfort gradually worsened. He wasn't eating and wasn't peeing or pooping. Something was wrong. After hours of trying everything we could think of, both Natalie and I decided it was time to go to the ER. After getting admitted around 8pm, they could tell that something was wrong and we weren't just being over reactive parents. The team started doing x-ray's and an ultrasound and it was in the ultrasound that we discovered that his bladder was very full due to something blocking his ability to discharge. To relieve the pressure, they inserted a catheter and after draining 300ml of fluid, he was finally able to relax and fall asleep. So the pain was now gone, but we needed to determine what was causing the blockage. At first glance, we thought it was a solid stool that was causing the blockage. The doctors tried an enema but that didn't seem to effect anything. After some manual inspection that didn't produce any results, the doctor felt it best to run a CT scan to get a better image of what was happening.
This meant placing a bigger IV to allow the contrast dye to enter his blood stream. In what was probably the hardest part for Natalie and I (at the time) to witness was watching them try to get a 22ga needle into his little veins (that were small due to him not eating all day). After several blown veins and what felt like hours of them poking him, they finally got an IV in just enough to get the procedure done.
Exhausted, tired, and still waiting for answers we finally got the CT scan at 2am (Saturday morning). Luckily after two doses of Fentynl, Liam was finally able to fall asleep while we waited for the scan to come back. At about 3:30am, the doctor came in and informed us that the CT scan showed a mass between the spine and his bladder and colon. His next sentence was "We think you need to go to Primary Children's Hospital, and probably right now."
Heart drop.
After determining whether he would need to be life flighted, transported by ambulance, or taken by car the team informed us that we could drive him down on our own and they would do direct admit (no waiting). It was a little comforting to us to know that it wasn't urgent enough that we could drive him down on our own. A small blessing.
At about 4am, exhausted and overwhelmed, we left McKay and headed to Salt Lake to Primary Children's Medical Center. Just a 45 minute drive.
At about 4am, exhausted and overwhelmed, we left McKay and headed to Salt Lake to Primary Children's Medical Center. Just a 45 minute drive.
The longest, hardest, and most painful 45 minute drive we'd ever taken. There wasn't any traffic and the fog was thick. The speedometer was working a little harder than normal. Natalie tried to sleep in the front seat while I focused on those white lines and tried to work through what the doctor just told us. Was this really happening? I just wanted to close my eyes and wake up to Liam jumping in his crib with a big smile on his face.
Liam was sound asleep in his car-seat, oblivious to what his world was about to turn into. If only it could stay that way.
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