Although the news is good scans are still always so tough. Liam now understands enough to know he doesn't like the hospital or the things that happen there. We were lucky and got an early sedation appointment so he got to come in his pjs. This go around was a CT scan which in a lot of ways has been nicer than the xray/us because the hard part is basically just when they take him to sedate him. The team has now figured out a good process where they take him and get him to sleep before they put in his iv or draw labs. It's always hard when they take him but overall its better for him. The waiting after they take him is torture it feels like minutes are hours. This was the first set of scans that I had Xanax and I took a couple of them to help me get thru. When they came to get me she acted like it was urgent which made me freak out inside but they just wanted me to be there before he was awake. It strange how you over think everything in a situation like this. I love when he starts to wake up and just wants to be cuddled. I feel like he's safe and I can protect him in this situation where I have no control.
Once he was good and awake we headed up to the clinic for our appt. Today was a day full of firsts. It was out first day in the newly remodel clinic. Dr Fluchel had also relocated to a Washington Children's hospital since our last visit so he was no longer our dr. I was anxious for all of the above. As I sat in the clinic watching the families that have cancer as part of their story. People from all walks of life..no one asked for this but each of them seemed like they were trying their best to make good out of a bad situation. A mom sitting nearby struck up a conversation while we waited. She showed me how to pull up Liam's results while we waited. I can't even express what a God sent that was that I didn't have to sit in suspense of the results. The results were great and for the first time since we started this journey the report didn't even note any mass. Again its strange I feel very strongly that Liam's time with cancer is over and that he will live a long and healthy life but that doesn't seem to calm the fears while sitting in the waiting room.
Shortly after we were called back and told that our new Dr's wife had had a baby and he was out so we would be seeing a different Dr that day. It was actually one of the Drs we saw while we were in treatment one weekend. He seemed great but specialized in a different cancer than what Liam had. We met with both him and his resident he recited what I had already read on the report. He said that even though the report didn't mention anything that he assumed that it meant nothing had changed but there was probably still a small area of scar tissue that would remain. I asked if there was something they could give me that I could give to Liam to help with the anxiety and he was shocked we didn't already have something so we walked away with both a prescription for Xanax and acyclovir for Liam's oral herpes. They examined Liam and then we were on our way. I'm always relieved to leave Primary's with good news and a chance to get back to normal life for an extended period of time. At this point we will come back in January(6 months from now).
Liam has wanted a fire station for some time but they are kinda pricey so I have been dragging my feet but we told him we would buy him one to have after scans. For a couple weeks he would tell everyone how he was going to get a fire station for being good at scans. When we got home Matt was good enough to help Liam build his fire station. I laid on the couch watching and before I knew it I fell asleep. Scans take a toll on all of us in different ways.
Now he is a very happy little friend and we are happy to report our little miracle is 2.5 years cancer free. I love this little boy more than I could even express. He is my partner and my little buddy that is my shadow and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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