36 Week

I'm doing pretty well. Matt is part of the bell choir in our ward this year for the Christmas program. They practice every Sunday shortly after church which means we rush home and eat and then he heads to practice. He seems to really be enjoying it and it certainly is right down his ally. Anyways this week when he went to bells practice the girls and I decided to make cookies and banana bread. One of my favorite things is to turn the music up and just bake...I really love that about our new kitchen. Anyways I had the Christmas music going and a couple songs came on that really touched me. I had a dream years ago about nursing a baby in front of the Christmas tree. When we miscarried our November baby I thought it must have been the baby in my dream but then this baby came along and is due in December I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. So as the music played I thought of the dream and how long our little family has waited for him. I became really emotional. I have kept myself pretty guarded this pregnancy I have been afraid to get to excited for fear something would happen. As I stood in the kitchen the tears came easily running down my face faster than I could catch them I realized just how excited and scared I am to have this little guy. For so many reasons. This little guy marks the end of us growing our family, it's our first boy(do I know what to do with a boy?), my health, and so many worries about if we were going to be lucky enough to get all healthy kids. It was definitely one of those moments that helps grow my testimony that God is aware of me, he loves me, and cares about my concerns. I really do love the feeling at Christmas time and preparing to welcome a baby during it makes the feelings even more.