A Little Thing Called a Testimony

So one of my goals or motos for this year is to "keep it real." This means to not make excuses and call it what it is. I hear a lot of people say oh I don't have time for that or money to do this but in reality we all have the same amount of hours in a day and what you choose to do in the day is outlined by priorities. Often times in the past I have had thoughts I don't have time to read my scriptures, to pray, and even to make it to the temple. Truth be told that as busy as our lives are we are only as busy as we allow ourselves to be and we can always make times for the things that matter the most. So with that being said I decided this year I really want/need to work on my testimony. Growing up I think I just followed my parents lead went through the motions so to speak. Once I graduated from high school and went college I found that there wasn't anyone that had expectations of me that I stopped going to church and doing all those things I felt were expected of me growing up. I don't feel like I have even fully recovered from that. When Matt and I got married both of us thought the other one was more spiritually strong than either of us really were. Once we had Hallie it then became real that we needed to get ourselves together. we weren't doing anything wrong but we weren't really making progress either. But it wasn't really until this year that we really have become consistent at reading our scriptures, saying prayers, making it to church, and having family home evening. I have the desire for our girls to have their own testimony before they leave Matt and I's home and I am really trying to focus on the things I know will help them to figure it out while they have us to help guide their path. while talking to my dad I have come to the realization that the spirit will never shout at me and that I may never have a lightening strike feeling that I so desire. The lord will help and guide me through a quiet voice or a warm feeling that usually brings tears to my eyes. I have to focus on that feeling and cherish it because it is what will keep me going and build my testimony. I sometimes am to literal for my own good and that's not always how the spirit works. So I have been really trying to focus on feeling the spirit, to be in tune in the moments in my day when I need to get down on my knees and ask for help, guidance, or just a feeling of comfort when the day is hard. I have really noticed a difference. Usually at church I am there to go through the motions because anyone with kids understands that sometimes you don't get one thing out of church other than being there because of wiggly and at time whiny/loud kids. But Sunday was different I prayed for it to be different to feel like I was there for a purpose, that I mattered, that God love me, and knows me individually. For the first time is as long as I can remember I really enjoyed church. I know Im not perfect and will never be but I am trying to better myself each day so that I can direct not only my path but the path of our sweet girls that I want more than anything to realize that their mom, dad, and God love them more than they know. Im grateful for the Lords patience and willingness to forgive us constantly. Here's to bettering ourselves each day.

Time with Daddy

Time with Matt is at times hard to come by with all he has going on. This semester especially he has an accounting class that he has to do the homework for so he always has a lot to get done. I am always amazed at home he handles all. Saturday we decided to get out and take the girls to a movie before naptime. Weber Satte had reneted out a theater in Kaysville and was giving tickets away as well as coupons for drinks and popcorn with the donation of a can of food. So while Matt was down at class the previous week he got us some tickets and treat vouchers. Nic and the kids were supposed to come with us but decided not to come so we let Hallie bring a friend. Since we put into place the schedule she has been so much better so we have made a point of saying since you have been such a good listener or being kind or whatever you can have a friend come with us to the movie. The 3 girls had a great time and were each thrilled when they got to pick their own drink and popcorn.

This semester Matt is gone on Mon, Wed, and Thurs. Its nice to have them not in a row in some ways so the girls don't have to go so long without seeing him. Last night the girls were so excited to see him. He is so great at trying to make the most of spending time with them. When he got home he played and helped get them into bed then he stayed up til 1 am to get all his school stuff done. I don't know how he does it but I sure love that he does. He is really trying to find a balance. Last night they played airplane...the girls loved it.

The anticipation of waiting for her turn almost killed Gracie 

Oh how much more time means when there is so little of it. I love my hubby and the wonderful daddy he is. But I am so excited for when he will be done with his masters next spring.

Parenting Can be Hard

Since school got back into session after Christmas we have found that Hallie is more sassy and just kind of a brat. One night she came to get me to let me know she had painted on her wall and then blamed it on her sister but the mess was way to clean for her sister to have been the culprit. The following day while doing her homework she cut a hole in her pants and when I asked her why she said she didn't know. We were taking away privileges and timeouts didn't seem to be doing a whole lot of good. I asked Hallie preschool teacher about it she said she had been great at preschool but that several other parents were noticing that as well. I talked to the other 2 moms we car pool with and they as well were having "issues" with their kiddos. I figured it was a part of her exerting her independence but also wanted to find a way to show her that acting that way was unacceptable.  I prayed that I would know how to help Hallie and felt like we needed to set some more black and white expectations(schedule) so I sat down with Hallie and let her know what we would be doing and implemented it the next day. I am very happy to say that is it working perfectly. It still never ceases to amaze me the power of communication. Now she earns her shows or activities dependent upon her behavior and Im loving the results. Sometimes consistency is hard but I have found the results make my life much easier once we get it in place.

Now with Gracie about a month ago we took the front off her crib and turned it into a toddler bed. For the 1st couple of weeks she did great like nothing even happened but then she started waking up earlier and not napping as well. The really frustrating part of it is that she is super whiny and I can tell she is tired. In the morning she used to sleep til at least 9 and now she is waking up before 8 which at our house does not fly...we like our sleep here. So on Monday I called Erin to help me move the queen bed upstairs for her to sleep in. She has started sleeping better although not completely like she used to. Im hoping this is a good fix for her. Although it really made me sad when I took down the crib yesterday. How come they have to grow up so fast.

A Day Out

 I have found myself getting a little stir crazy lately with Matt gone most of the time the girls and I spend a lot of time home by ourselves. It seems like we go through spurts of seeing family a lot and then not so much and maybe after the holidays I always have withdrawals I don't know but the last couple of weeks I have really missed my sisters. I have missed the face to face chats, the kids laughing as they play together, and just overall being together. So last week I called Kim got her work schedule and set a day to head down to hang out. After preschool got out Nic and I headed for Riverton. Nic was a few minutes behind me since Kinley was asleep when we left so I headed to get Kim and Luke and then we met up with Nic and the kids at Ikea and did mostly browsing but a little shopping. I think we all have grand ideas of redecorating and Ikea is a great place to dream and scheme so to speak. The kids loved testing out all the furniture and running around together. Luckily there weren't many people there and so we could still keep an eye on them. After we were done at Ikea we all headed out to Herriman High School to watch Ezra coach the girls basketball team for their game. It was a lot of fun. Nic, Kim, and I all really got into the game so it was a good thing our kids just ran up and down the bleachers behind us. Poor Rigs ate it a couple times and ended up with some good bruises on his forehead but they just kept on playing. Hallie and Rigs we so funny. We were trying to explain to them when to yell defense and when to yell pass the ball, take it to the basket ect. Hallie would cheer something really loud and Rigs was like a little echo. The kids were all really good for the game. We had al packed plenty of snacks to share which kept them happy when they would get restless.Here is a picture of there cheering section.

After the game Nic headed for home since Kyle was going to be home from work early. Kim and I loaded up the kids and went in search of dinner. We ended up and Zupas and had a yummy dinner before we went back to Kimber's. Once back at Kim's we changed bums, got everyone pottied, and pjs on before we started a movie. The kids played and watched a movie while Kimber and I talked and caught up on life and she was able to show me the houses they had put bids in on. After the movie was over we loaded up and headed for home about 8:30.  Its hard to explain but I came home that day feeling rejuvenated and refreshed. Hallie has already asked when we can go cheer for Ez again. I think days like this day keep me mentally sane. Love my sisters and their willingness to make time to spend together.

Getting Ready for Valentines

I love holidays. I remember my mom always had decorations for all the holidays and I always looked forward to putting them up. I am hoping to pass that onto our kids and the older they get the more into it they have gotten. I have found that it is hard at times to find non cheesy Valentine decor so I decided we would make some of our own. So the girls and I took a trip to Hobby Lobby after searching Pinterest and bought some tulle. This is what we came up with. It was very easy and both the girls could help which made it more work but also more fun. I really like how it turned out and I love how every time Gracie sees it she says, "oh cute."

Sometimes Timing Just isn't Right

I feel like this is the theme for my life lately. My dream is to live in Mountain Green or some place very similar to that. I occasionally browse the lots on ksl or the mls. But usually the lots are far to expensive to fit in the budget along with construction costs. A couple weeks ago I was looking and found a new development that had just about everything we are looking for and it fit in our budget! I called Matt and tried to calmly explain what I had found. He looked at them and was equally impressed. So I called the agent to get more information and took a drive up to see if it was as good as it looked. When we arrived I knew we were in trouble it was everything that we wanted and more. 

The lot that we fell in love with is 1.71 acres in a small subdivision with fantastic views. After about a week we contacted the agent to see if they could meet us up there and show us around. Everything lined up great and we more than anything wanted to put an offer in on the lot but the timing isn't right. Right now we are paying about 12,000 a year for Matt to finish his masters degree and doing everything on one income. I was/am still heart broken but Matt and I both racked our brains wondering how we could make it work. But ultimately after much thought and prayer came to the sad realization that at this point trying to make something work would only put us in a bad financial situation later. We both became discouraged and I fund myself praying to understand. And strangely enough as silly as it sounds my prayer was answered. All in due time was all I could think in my head and then a small voice remind me that when we are ready there will be something better out there for us. My initial thought was better...reallly? This is everything we think we want and more. But alas the truth is that we can't see into the future and we have to hold onto the small moments when the Lord reminds us that he has all things planned we just have to have faith. And for the moment I am at peace with that and I am attempting to move forward and holding onto the feelings I felt. After we got home I was looking through my phone pictures and found these that the girls had taken while waiting in the car while Matt and I looked at the lot.

 

A small but subtle reminder of what is really important. Sure I could go back to work full time and we could buy what ever we wanted but our ultimate priority is our family. I never wanted to become a mom so someone else could raise them. Although being a mom is hard and learning patience is even harder I feel it will be worth it in the end. Who knows maybe the lot will still be for sale when we are ready:) 

30 and our 1st Ever Trip to the ER

On Friday I turned 30! I had already decided that you are only as old as you feel and some days it works in my advantage and some days not. I don't feel any different being 30. I think people make way to big of a deal about getting older...its just an age. The day was pretty "normal" the girls and I went shopping with Nic for supplies to make Valentines decor and then came home for lunch and naps. Matt came home a couple hours early and we got a running list of things done and then got ready to go to dinner. Mindi and Corey came up for the evening to stay the night since the following morning they were headed to the temple for a family wedding and we were going to watch their kids. We decided to do Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. We got there and it took forever to get our food. So the kids entertained themselves. Mindi had brought me a hat to wear during dinner but Gracie quickly took a liking to it and wanted to wear it I was more than ok with that. 

Hallie was so excited for Nathan to come play they are great friends

As soon as our food came we got everyone back in their seats. Matt lead Gracie back to her chair and lifted her in and she went crazy and started sobbing uncontrollably. I could tell pretty quickly that something was really wrong. We quickly asked the waitress for our check and loaded up most of our food. She wouldn't stop crying or use her left arm. We had to stop at home to let Mindi and Corey back in the house and then we were going to take Grace to the hospital. I was a little annoyed since we had to switch insurances starting January 1st and now it didn't cover anything IHC. I had only met Gracie ped the week before for her 2 year check and didn't quite know where we should go. I called the ped office and they said since it was her arm they would need to xray it and they didn't have one in the office so we would need to go to Ogden Clinic or an Ihc Instacare. So we got home and got the kids out of the car and headed in the house. I noticed the house was unlocked but I was a little frazzled so I didn't think much of it before I heard everyone yelling..SURPRISE!!!  I was shocked to say the least and I really wasn't focused on my birthday in my head all I was thinking about was getting Gracie to the hospital. We quickly said hello to everyone and I was fine until my mom popped out and said surprise and I lost it. I had no idea about the party and even less of a clue that she would be coming all the way from Vegas. I felt some sense of relief that she was there that in some way she calmed my fears about Grace.(SIDE STORY:Matt didn't invite my parents to the party he just thought it would be just to far to come but a couple days before my mom and kim were talking on the phone and kim mentioned getting stuff ready for the party my mom asked what she was talking about and then kim explained. My mom said I can't miss my oldest turning 30. My mom made arrangements to come and pick up my grandma in st. george so they would all be here.It really meant a lot to me that someone from my entire family was there.Matt didn't find out that my mom was coming until a few hours before the party)

Hallie was equally as excited to see her gram gram

 I felt very blessed to have so many people in my life who care about and support me and my family. The people who came: My mom, grandma Harris, Kim and Luke(Ez had basketball), Nic, Kyle, Rigs, and Kinley, Matt's mom, Tiff Wood, Mindi & Corey, and Jon & Steph Turner.

 I was so impressed with Matt. I had absolutely no idea about the party...I mean like no idea. He even made the announcements to send out.

He had lined everything up with my mom and sisters from the decor to the food they had it all covered. It was all really cute

Here is my gluten free dessert bar from my favorite place Sweet Cake Bake Shop and lucky me they got my favorite salted caramel shortbread

I put Gracie down for a few minutes to see if she would "forget" and just play but that didn't happen. So we sang happy birthday and then left for the hospital. They got us in right away Matt stayed out to fill paper work while I took Grace to see the dr. She still wasn't moving her left arm at all and if she did she would just cry. The dr came in pretty quickly and attempted to pop her elbow back into joint but after she did it she still wouldn't use it. Matt felt so bad when the dr told us it was her elbow out of socket she started to get emotional he felt so bad he had hurt her. So she ordered an xray to make sure it wasn't something more. Gracie was really good through most of it but the xray was horrible. Her arm had to be laid straight and Im sure it hurt she just kept saying hurting and crying. It was so sad. The xray showed her elbow was still out so the dr tried again and it popped right back in. After that she was great and asked to go home and see her gram gram. She has been fine since. When we got home Nic/Kyle, Mom, grandma, and Mindi/Corey were still there. Since Mindi and Corey were staying with us my mom and grandma continued on to Tremonton for the night. I wished we had space for everyone to stay but someday. The next day my mom and grandma came about lunch they spent the rest of the day playing with the kids, doing some shopping, and of coarse eating. Nic and Kyle came back for dinner as well. That night after tub time grandma got a stack of books and started reading. I never got to know this grandma growing up and I feel very privileged that my kids are getting to see a side of her that I never did.

The evening was a bit of a whirlwind I felt so torn between taking care of Grace and spending time with family but it all worked out. Happy Birthday to me

A Pink Fluffy Coat

 This isn't just any fluffy pink coat it is a coat I wore when I was the girls age. I love that its something I can put my girls in that they love. This is Gracie at 2 years old

This is Hallie in the same coat at 15 months old

Snow!!!

Over the last couple of days we have gotten about 6 inches of snow. We have spent several short periods of time outside but Gracie isn't very tolerant of the cold at this age. I remember Hallie being like that and now she loves to be outside. She has been a great helper in shoveling the snow and making sure our blow up frosty stays unburied.

 We have also spent a lot of time in our pjs watching movies and drinking hot chocolate

Park City Weekend

Matt and I have been really looking forward to our getaway weekend. We decided this time to go to Park City and planned it so it would be the same weekend as the World Cup so we could go watch the aerials. We grabbed some dinner on our way out of Ogden and headed to the outlets for a few minutes before going to Deer Valley where the even was being held. The hike up the the even was brutal but we were to impatient to wait in line for a lift. The weather was pretty warm so it made it more enjoyable. It was really cool to watch them fly through the air doing tricks like it was nothing. Our friend Eric was helping with the hillside team and snagged us some hot chocolate from the hospitality tent it was prefect for the cool night.

Behind us is the moguls hill. They come down this so fast between 25-30 seconds they have some crazy skills.

After we got cold we headed to our hotel to check in. We stayed at the Zermatt Resort in Midway it was really nice. We were able to buy a deal off of KSL that included our night stay, a resort credit, and free passes to swim at the crater across the street. We watched a movie before we headed to bed. The next morning we ordered room service...which was fun we have never done that. After we ate breakfast we got ready to head over to the crater to swim. The crater is a natural warm spring in a cave that you can swim or scuba dive in. With the cold air combinding with the hot water it was a little difficult to get pictures.  It was a cool experience the crater is 6000 feet deep and the water is extremely clear you can see down a long ways. After we swam for a bit we got changed and headed for home. I wish I could say this weekend was like so many of our getaways...relaxing and enjoyable. But this trip was stressful and caused a lot of anxiety. We had major problems with out babysitters(Matt's parents) and spent most of our time trying to rearrange our weekend in order to be home sooner. Without going into more detail we will know for future reference that we need to make other arrangements for our girls. I know that when we come home from being away that I am  a more attentive and patient mom. Getaways are good for kids and parents. 

A Black Tie Affair with my Sweetheart

Once you get married and have kids there is rarely, if ever, an opportunity to dress up, have your hair done, and go out for a night on the town with your hubby so when we got invited to the 125 year celebration for Weber State we were both pretty excited. We both bought new outfits for the occasion and went the extra mile getting ready. I had a neighbor that cuts my hair do it in an updo which was really fun. I almost felt like we were in high school again going to the dances it was a lot of fun. 

 We had our babysitter take a few pictures before we left

 Im so lucky to have this guy right here he really is amazing. He is making quite a name for himself. I'm so proud of him

 The theme of the event was "steampunk" it made for some unique decor and experience overall. During social hour they had hors d'oeuvre,drinks, a photo booth, and a magician that wandered around doing tricks for the guests.  Here is our picture from the photo booth Matt decided to wear some of the props. 

 The decor...these were all hanging from the ceiling 

Then it was time for dinner the menu was impressive to say the least

 Our appetizer

Dessert the clock was made completely of chocolate almost to pretty to eat...almost but it was delicious

Then we were off to the theater for the illusionist and the program to say that it was impressive would be an understatement. It was truly amazing.

 The stage for the illusionist

It was an amazing eye opening experience seeing how far Weber has come in the last 125 years. I feel privilege to be part of what Weber has become and will become in the future. Im so proud of Matt and the part he is playing in Weber State progression. It was such a fun night and I hope it is the first of many black tie events for us.

Happy 2nd Birthday Gracie

 Our little Gracie officially turned 2! When she woke up both Hallie and I sang to her and she loved it. The rest of the morning I heard her multiple times singing happy birthday to herself. Gracie wanted blueberry waffles, blueberries, and bananas for breakfast. When they were about done I started cleaning up only to turn around to find Gracie drinking syrup....I wasn't surprised at all and I didn't stop her she loved it! Latelt when I ask her to look at me with her eyes she squints but after a minute we got her to open her eyes again. 

 Saying cheese

 After we got ready we went to get Hallie's hair cut before coming home for lunch and nap. I couldn't resist capturing a picture of this sweet girl sleeping....also she is now in her toddler bed and doing great!

 Then we went to meet up with Matt for an early dinner since he started back to teaching and going to school that night. When we asked Gracie what she wanted she responded "inese" which means chinese and we were happy to oblige.

 On the way home we stopped and let Gracie pick out a mini cake. she picked one with lots of sprinkles and balloons. She loved that Hallie and I sang and was beaming ear to ear.....

 until we asked her to blow out her candles at the end of the song and then we got this look which was priceless and hilarious 

 Ready to eat cake

 At her birthday party I think there was to much going on and she didn't really even touch her cake but not this time she ate all her cake and seemed to love it

 These 2 are  so silly together

 Here is a picture of our little party missing our daddy

Happy birthday Gracie Girl we love you and can't picture our lives without your sweet spunky face to fill each day.