Baby #3

On Sept 9th I was a nervous anxious mess this is the day I was supposed to start my period. When I didn't I wasn't sure how to feel excited....scared. Having miss carried less than 6 months earlier I now had a tainted view of what should be one of the happiest times in my life. I wanted so badly to be pregnant but was worried I would once again have to go through the heart break of loosing a child. I talked to Matt who suggested I waited for a week! There was no way I would go crazy so the following morning I took a test and it showed up positive faster than I remember any test I had taken before. Once again the flood of mixed emotions. My ob had suggested calling and getting on progesterone to help establish a healthy pregnancy as soon as I got a positive result. I called them as soon as they opened and within a couple hours we were on our way to the pharmacy.  

For the following weeks every time I felt funny I was sure I was miscarrying. I was driving myself crazy! I finally decided to take it to the Lord to ask for help and my prayers were answered. I finally got to the point that I realizes that all I could do was to take care of myself to ensure a safe and healthy place for this little sweet baby to grow. I felt the reassurance of my Father in Heaven's love for me and feel like this pregnancy will result in us being allowed to raise this little person in our earthly home in our eternal family. Although that doesn't keep me from worrying I try to remember the small whisperings of comfort I have had and cling to them on my rough days. Having had a miscarriage with my last pregnancy it totally changed my perspective on when we would announce we were pregnant. Within days of finding out I had told both my sisters and my parents. I felt like last time I needed support and no one knew I was pregnant so I was dropping a big bomb shell when I told them. Matt and I also chose to tell a few close friends that have been very helpful the times I have been sick or needed a break in some way but mostly just to have someone to share my fears and hopes with.  I for the most part had been feeling pretty good until 6 weeks hit. This happened to be the week I also had Nic's kids. I was concerned to say the least so once again I turned to my Heavenly Father and asked for help I was able to make it through the entire week feel well and having the energy I needed to take care of each of the kids. But once Jill came to pick them up the deal was over and I was back to feeling not so good. As strange as it sounds I was relieved that I was sick....often sickness is the sign of a healthy pregnancy and if that's what it takes to get a healthy sweet baby to us I can handle being sick. Symptom wise so far I am so tired like more tired than I ever was with either of the girls, I am also starving...like all the time starving. I eat at least every 2 hours! I crave so many things so randomly its crazy. One day its Mexican, the next Italian. Matt has been amazing as my delivery guy picking me up what sounds good on his way from one place to another. I went through a couple weeks that only french fries sounded good and I ate at least one order a day...lol glad thats over at least for now.  I drink a lot of sprite mixed with lemon lime Gatorade as well as coke they both do a pretty good job at settling my stomach. I also have to pee quite frequently and get nauseous pretty easily. Week 7 was hard...really heard I got the stomach flu on top of everything else and it made for a long week and weekend in Vegas and traveling alone with the girls. This week I hit my 8 week mark and got to go to the Dr for the 1st time. Once again I was a nervous wreck but everything went really well. I love my Dr and her bedside manner is prefect for me. I asked a ton of questions and wanted her to explain everything on the ultrasound. The baby is actually measuring a couple days ahead of my estimated due date which I say is May 19th but Dr. Boheen is thinking the 20th either way it wont matter since this baby will probably be here before then anyways. Dr. Boheen thinks it is a boy...how she knows that I have no clue but I'm ok with that. Really at this point I will take either boy or girl I just want it to be healthy and fully intact. Because of my Ulcerlative Colitis I am considered high risk. For the remainder of my 1st trimester I will go every 2 weeks and if at that point everything still looks good they may extend them to a month until I get further along. Dr Boheen knows what a worrier I am and said if I need to come in before that to call and she will get me in just to make sure everything is good. Here is our little friends at 8 weeks measuring 8wks and 2 days.

I am cautiously optimistic that all will go well. I am getting more excited all the time. I am excited for everyone to know so I can talk about it openly but we have decided to wait a little longer since we miscarried about 9 weeks last time. Also Tiff(Matt's sister) is coming into town this weekend and we don't want to ruin her weekend by announcing now. So for now it is still our little blessing of a secret.

Update:We are now 12 weeks!!! I am starting to feel better and more relaxed all the time. Im getting more excited but it will be easier to be excited when I don't feel sick all of the time!! My cravings have pretty much disappeared but I still feel just as sick if not worse. I take my progesterone for 2 more weeks and I'm wondering if I will feel better once I stop taking it...I guess we will see. We announced to Joy we were pregnant(see moving post) and the remainder of his family through a picture message on Halloween. It said "Its no trick that we will be adding a little treat to our family come May."

I have been having some chest pain the last couple days I went to the dr today when it hadn't resolved itself. They ran a bunch of labs and a new ekg with very little to report. They are thinking it is a viral plural effusion that should remedy itself and to just take it easy. This week has been really hard for me, I have had a bad attitude. I usually can find the silver lining in things but being sick, Matt always being gone, never getting a break, and this on top of it has made it really difficult. Im excited for winter. For the excuse to stay inside, watch movies, cuddle, and make cookies. I feel like I spend more quality time with my family in the winter. Im hoping things get better soon at this point this is going to be the longest pregnancy ever!