Its a GIRL!!!

I am continuing to have quite a bit of anxiety with this pregnancy. I have spent some time thinking about my feelings and what I can do to correct this. I came to the conclusion that I am in some ways am angry. Angry that I can't just enjoy this pregnancy much like I did with both girls because of the miscarriage. I find that I have been quite reserved with my emotions about having another baby for fear that I will once again have my heart broken. Although I am thankful to be carrying this healthy and beautiful baby. This week(15 weeks) we went to the dr and for the 1st time looked to see the gender of the baby. I am thrilled to announce that we will be having another little girl!! I am thrilled but so surprised. When I was in the hospital with both Hallie and Gracie I felt like we would have 4 kids and that we would have 2 girls, then a boy, then a girl to bring up the rear. With this finding Im slightly confused and over thinking things for sure. I don't know if we now will only have 3 kids and our 1 angel in heaven to raise in the eternities? Or if I just thought of it wrong and they will come in a different order. Either way I am getting more excited all the time. I honestly can say I didn't care what the gender of this baby was I just want it to be healthy. But I am excited for more bows and girly stuff.  I am feeling better which makes it much more enjoyable and I am also finding that she is getting more and more active which eases my fears. I am finding that now that this baby has an identity it feel much more real.

I know that Matt was excited for a boy but I think he is just excited for another princess. I love watching him with the girls and can't wait to add another one to that. I think it takes a special guy to love little girls with patience and gentleness. I know not all guys have this and feel very blessed to be married to one of the men that have what it takes to love all of his girls. Can't wait for May there are so many changes coming our way...I hope we are ready!!